LOVE UNITES

 Every morning when I reach near the school I see a lot of traffic on the school road. Parents park their vehicles outside the school gate, some are in deep conversation with their child, some others give send off kisses to their kids, some keep waving to their children till they disappear into the school building. Though it causes a traffic jam in the area, it is heart-warming to see the bonding.

I always wonder why it disappears when children grow up? There is a strain in the relationship. Parents tend to get ego involved with children. This is visibly seen when they don’t turn up for the Parent-teacher meetings or school celebrations, or when the child gets into the wrong company and thus develops wrong habits. Building relationships is vital in the growing up years of a child.

As a working woman, I set my priorities right. I didn’t see anything more pleasurable beyond my work and my family. Only these two mattered to me. Coming back from work every evening and looking into the daily school work of my son, playing games with him, attending to his needs, sending him for sports and UCMAS classes, was all that I did on a daily basis, apart from going on family holidays, during his childhood.

I did not understand the game of football, basketball or tennis. I didn’t know the players either. But my son followed these games and so he would excitedly talk about the game and his favourite player as soon as I returned from work. I would just listen to him. That was enough for him.

Attachment to the family happens only when we connect with them in their growing up years by giving them the much required time and provide them the right environment.

When was the last time you engaged with your child in an activity? How often do you invest time with your child? Is there peace and harmony at home?

We tend to hold the honesty of a child against the child. This stops them from sharing anything with us. If we can stop quoting the mistakes of the child, they will feel free to share everything with us. Children will begin to trust us. I consciously made an effort not to hold to the past, and I became my son’s trusted friend.

I have understood the futility of getting ego involved with my child. The immaturity of the child should not spoil the relationship. Our maturity should prevail. I very well know that it is easier said than done. I am not a perfect mother either. But certain conscious decisions were made and practised consistently.

You win by allowing your child to win, especially in an argument. They may feel they are right. As mahatria says, “It is not the question of whose mistake, but it is the question of whose life. So, you make the U-turn.”

I prioritised love over ego. Hence, I made a resolve, not to retaliate or have angry outbursts at home. So, peace and harmony prevailed.

However angry we are, can we refrain from making derogatory remarks about our children? Are we defining them by their looks or by their marks? Is it fair to dent their self-image? It will affect them in a big way as they will lose their confidence and self-esteem.

Is that what we want for our children? Our maturity should prevail in every situation, no matter how naive or immature they are. Forgive them for their ignorance.

Never let your ego take away the beautiful relationship between you and your child, whom you nourished with care in your womb, whom you rocked to sleep in your arms, whom you fed and bathed with love, for whom you spent sleepless nights, whose smile and gurgle brightened your day, whose childhood memories you treasure, every milestone, the first word your child uttered, the first step, the first bite of solid food, the first day to school, and the days you waited for your child to return from school, the tight hug that you gave. Is it with this child that you have a disconnect?

The relationship with your child is too precious to allow anything to ruin it. Throw away your ego, your impatience, your anger and just embrace one vital quality called LOVE. Everything will dissolve into it. It helps in sinking all differences of opinion. May your love towards your child be unconditional. It is love that unites all hearts and brings happiness and peace!

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting 

SCREEN ADDICTION

Education has undergone significant changes over the years, moving away from the traditional teacher-centered approach to more student-centered, technology integrated methods. It has become inevitable for students to use computers. Since some of them do not have a computer, they use their mobile to check their home-fun activities and assignments.

Nowadays, in some families, children are given a mobile from childhood, so that they don’t disturb their parents.

I have seen toddlers sitting with a mobile in shopping malls, with a grandparent to monitor. The parents are busy shopping. I have always felt that I should have carried a story book with me, which I could have given to the child.

With too many gadgets in our life, and with everyone having a mobile, the new toy has become an addiction for the young and old alike. Technology has to make our life easy, but instead it has made life complicated.

We do not expose our children to any hobby when they are young. Parents should start reading to them when they are still babies. This habit should continue when they are toddlers. Stories should be read out to them at bedtime. This should be a daily routine. The benefit of doing this will be seen when they pick up books and start reading.

Initiating them into reading or sports or any other hobby, will ensure that they are not glued to gadgets, but use technology only to gather information and for other academic purposes.

Movement and outdoor activities are very much required for children. They should be part of some sports. That will help them to be alert and energetic.

Technology aided education is used to enhance the teaching-learning process. Blended learning and flipped classroom combine traditional classroom instruction with online learning components. It deepens one’s learning in the classroom.

Children use computers for coding and various other experiments they do in a STEM lab. They also have computer education in school. Computers are used to enhance their learning. It is inevitable as the world has moved on to AI and we cannot work without computers.

If students are using their computer or the mobile to learn something or to store data, or for making a presentation, or for anything where learning happens, they are putting it to right use. These are valuable tools for learning and communication. Let it not become an addiction for the wrong reasons.

There are many activities into which children can be initiated into, after school hours. It will be more productive than sitting in front of the television or playing with gadgets.

Beware and be aware! Excessive use of technology can impact mental health, affect academic performance, bring deterioration in physical health and also lead to social isolation.

My sincere appeal to parents is, not to give a mobile to your child so that you can be free. For the rest of your life you will be struggling to wean your child away from it. Let us resolve to create a generation that will use technology resourcefully and productively. 

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting 
 

AN EDUCATION WITH A DIFFERENCE

 

The academic year begins with a bang with every school showcasing the results of the board exams, how many students qualified for NEET and IIT JEE, etc. Schools also showcase the number of students who have joined other professional courses. This adds to the brand value of the schools. Social media is flooded with these advertisements.

I began to examine the worthiness of providing an education which believes that marks alone define your success. What about a long life that children will lead after schooling? Are we preparing them to live a life that is ethical, moral, and spiritual?

No doubt every school gets recognized for achieving extraordinary results, but life is beyond marks. Is it not important to see what we leave within the child? How much of the culture and ethos of the school are the children carrying within them to live a successful, yet peaceful, happy and a value-based life?

I fully understand that the primary responsibility of every school is to focus on academics, and it is the primary responsibility of parents to instill values in children.

In today’s scenario, where both parents are working and everybody is busy meeting deadlines, we, as a school, take the responsibility, by integrating values, discipline and spirituality along with academics. Hence, the education we provide is truly holistic.

Activities are conducted and experiences are given to develop the values of gratitude, self-love, compassion, honesty, reverence for parents and teachers, to be a good finder, to be happy to help, preserving the environment, eating healthy, responsible citizenship, punctuality, willpower, social awareness and responsibility, to name a few, along with meditation.

Thus, it helps them to value everyone and everything.

No subject will teach children any of these values. It is to be integrated in the curriculum. Our school has more than sixty best practices, which contribute to the holistic growth of children. We also provide a conducive environment for the students.

When children go through these experiences from kindergarten to school final, there is bound to be a transformation in their thought process and aids in building a powerful subconscious mind.

Recently our students celebrated Doctor’s Day by visiting hospitals and presenting a hand-made greeting card and a sweet box for doctors. They expressed their gratitude for their selfless service. Needless to say, the doctors were overwhelmed by this unexpected visit by the students. It was an enriching experience for the students, one that created a lasting impression in their minds. The occasion helped them to understand the value of doctors.

These are ways in which we can build a beautiful world.

Great professionals with no values can cause severe damage to society. Physical, social, moral, emotional, ethical, and spiritual development will only create a wholesome personality. 

The primary and secondary formative years define a child’s adult life. The experiences that they go through during these crucial years will create the man or woman they turn out to be.

Let us not just train children to secure high marks in the exam, but also to make a mark in life!

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting 

My Learnings…My Transformations

Integrity and Accountability

In my previous blog I had written about the benefits of sitting in silence everyday and how I was introduced to meditation seventeen years back, and that, I have progressed from ten minutes to an hour of meditation every day.

There are certain things that you learn from others in the world. If we adopt practices that will benefit us, and bring consistency to it, our life will improve.

My spiritual anchor introduced me to meditation. To pursue it or not was left to my choice. Practicing meditation for seventeen years, even though I am not being monitored, is my integrity.

I am accountable to myself first. What am I doing to improve the quality of my life, is my responsibility. Life will introduce us to something that we don’t know. To make it a part of our life is a choice we execute.

Once is life’s responsibility. To make it always is man’s responsibility. - mahatria

It was my husband who introduced me to fitness. I made it a part of my daily routine, understanding the true value of exercising every day. I don’t exercise only when I am watched. Exercising has become a habit. It is not mood dependent. Taking care of my fitness level is something I owe to myself.

The same goes for the food I eat. I avoid what is harmful to the body, but tasty to the tongue and choose to eat what is good for the body, but might not be so tasty. Cheating on my food is like cheating my body.

I don’t need anyone to watch over any of these practices. It is already ingrained in me as part of my daily life and a habit.

Integrity is, what you do when you are not being watched

If we develop a powerful mind, we will operate out of right and wrong and not by pain and pleasure.

Bringing consistency to all the right habits should be a decision that we take in favour of our life. Do not operate out of pain and pleasure, as today’s pleasure may give us everlasting pain.

Meditation, exercise and eating the right food should not be a choice. Put yourself into a choiceless state.

Similarly, if children are taught to reflect on their actions, they will avoid developing a herd mentality, and will take control of their lives. They should be trained to ask, “Am I right?” and not, “Will I be caught?”

                                Awareness is the key.

 If parents do not hold the honesty of the child against the child, then the relationship will be more open, and children will be transparent about their actions.  Children fear being judged. So, they pretend to be right. Thus, they lose their ability to be honest.

Integrity is also about what children do to their own life. Just because you are not being watched, how can you waste your time, which is precious for building your future? How can you indulge in wrong actions that will be detrimental to your own life? Can you indulge in vices and destroy your own life?

Integrity is about being truthful to yourself and not proving a point or convincing someone. Are you convinced that you are living life the right way? Are you aligning your actions to your values and intentions?

There should be no gap between what you think, say and do

Integrity is essential for positive outcomes, for building trust, strong relationships, achieving success and ultimately living a more peaceful and purposeful life.

Do you agree with me? Share with me as to how integrity has made your life far greater than what it would have been otherwise.

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting 

My Learnings… My Transformations

 

Silence leads to all celebrations in life

We live in a dynamic world in which so much keeps happening and all of us are in the doing mode, chasing our dreams. Sometimes there is a lot of frenzy and this leads to lack of clarity in thinking. Life is on a fast forward mode. There is so much of chaos and pandemonium, and in the din of our every day life, we fail to often notice the beauty around us. What are we running after in life?

As the poet, Henry Davies says in the poem, “Leisure,” “What is this life, if, full of care, we have no time to stand and stare.”

I must say that when I started my career this was my life too. Stressed all the time as my work was overwhelming and I had too many things to handle.

I had the good fortune of being introduced to meditation seventeen years back. I was someone who couldn’t sit with my eyes closed for even five minutes. But my reverence for my teacher made me sit for ten minutes in silence every day.

Seventeen years later, I still continue to meditate. But now I have progressed to an hour. Meditation helps us to reduce the quantity of thoughts and thereby improve the quality of thoughts. Many to one to none is what meditation is all about. So, we need to focus on one thought. Our mind may wander to many other thoughts, but just bring it back to that one thought.

The goal is to go from one to none, which is called Silence. When we are able to hold one thought for long, it becomes very potent. A speck of dust in a still water lake can create ripples. How far the ripples will go, we cannot say.

From silence, everything life positive emerges.

Giving up became so effortless, to the point that I was not conscious of it, but realized only later that I had dropped my negative traits on the way. The new “me” began to emerge. Peace and harmony envelopes my life. Happiness is a constant.

I am now in a stage similar to the fourth stage called unconscious competence. Without my knowledge I am dropping what is not right and embracing what is right.

You just need to tell the universe what you want and it starts working for you.

A lot of cleansing happens when you sit in silence every day, and your life will be on top gear. The speed button of progress is pressed and you begin experiencing holistic growth.

The dynamism for your doing comes from your non-doing.

Begin today, begin now, by sitting in silence for 11 minutes every day. Just blindly start practicing non-doing. Don’t use your intellect in matters of Silence, Surrender and Faith. It is beyond the comprehension of the common man. It is magical!

Surrender in the faith that it will transform your life. Silence cannot be explained. It can only be experienced! 

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting

The Woman Who Scripted Her Life

A young widow,

All of thirty,

Stood alone,

At the crossroads of her life,

When life dealt a nasty blow,

That none can ever take.

She fell to her feet,

Unable to bear the pain.

 

She was tossed,

In the deep sea of life.

The hurricane mercilessly

Lashed her hard.

Toppled her and threw her

In a no man’s land

To find her own path.

 

She was bruised all over,

Bleeding …with no one left

To lift her.

Crestfallen and defeated,

She trembled…

Shaking all over,

With nothing left,

Except her will.

 

 

She held her little off springs,

Close to her bosom,

With what little might,

Was left in her.

One last time,

She looked back at fate,

Tears welling in her eyes,

And took the first step forward!

 

Many lives were shaped,

And destinies formed,

by her dedicated hands. 

Though her own life was incomplete,

She made it fulfilling for many

Never one to complain,

Was always a picture of grace-

Even in the turbulent years.

 

Rest is history,

She left behind a rich legacy,

Of Faith, Determination,

Generosity, Selflessness

And all human qualities,

That anyone would possess.

When life was fair to them.

 

Life was more than unfair,

Yet she bore,

Everything in silence,

Without a murmur,

By offering herself,

To the Almighty,

In whom she had,

Unshakeable faith.

 

Faith works…effort wins,

Is the story of her life,

That I got to see,

In close proximity,

In all the sixty years,

That I was blessed to be,

With the unsung hero

Of my life,

MY MOTHER!!!

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting

 

My Learnings… My Transformations

Are you a Leader or a Follower?

If you have all the money in the world, will you be doing what you are doing? If your answer is a loud “Yes” then it is your swadharma. Then you are an intrinsically motivated person. All you think of is, to set standards and benchmark yourself. You are passionate about what you are doing.

Such people are leadership material. They will push themselves. They don’t need anyone to remind them about their responsibilities.

Organizations look out for such individuals who can make great contributions.

Taking responsibility for your life itself makes you a leader.

Are you a student who will complete your assignment only out of fear of being punished? Or, are you someone who feels satisfied on completing your work on time? Is your daily life invested on what is important, but not urgent? Or is it spent on what is urgent and important? Then you are all the time fire-fighting. You will be stressed. If you are proactive, you will be relaxed.

“A time for everything, and everything on time” is disciplined living. This is the life of a person who aspires to be a leader.

“A place for everything and everything in its place” is systematic living.

These are two mantras I follow in life. It has helped me to press my speed button and enhance the quality of my life.

I don’t miss to share with people the benefits of implementing these two mantras in life.

When leadership came my way, I had to work incessantly on developing the qualities a leader was expected to have. I am still work in progress, though I have come a long way. You can never say you have arrived.

Leadership makes you quality conscious in all aspects. You always wish to surpass expectations.

As an educationist, I am always conscious of how I carry myself, as thousands of eyes are watching me. I should help them to get it right through me. That is the huge responsibility of a teacher.

As a student, make a clear plan for the new academic year, a daily routine at home, a schedule, short term and long-term goals, all of these will help you to become a champion.

“That on which you invest time, grows. That which is starved of your time, shrinks.”- mahatria

What are your time stealers? Identify and plug all the rat holes. Gear up to take the year head on. Aspire to be a leader.

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting