GROWING IN MATURITY

 

“Maturity is a high price to pay for growing up.”

When I was in college, I received an award for the best poem for the year in the college magazine. It was titled, “Life.” The poem was written as a consequence to some disappointment I experienced. I was so upset that I poured it out in the form of a poem. It caught the attention of the English department, and thus my poem was chosen. Many of my friends told me that I was being pessimistic, but I argued.

When I gained maturity I was able to understand how much I hurt myself by dwelling on the negative aspects of life. I was so immature that I used to get upset with people who wronged me or behaved unreasonably with me, especially elders in the family. There was so much negativity in me as others’ behavior towards me affected me. My relationship with close relatives was topsy-turvy. This is where I was as a youngster.

It required great effort on my part to bring about a paradigm shift in my outlook. Not to get disturbed by the behavior of people around me. I learnt that acceptance will, to a large extent, help me to annihilate or mitigate my                     ill-feelings towards people. I turned my expectations towards me and not towards the world. That made all the difference and I started experiencing peace in life. It is so liberating when we are able to accept people and move on. The mantra that I hold on to dearly, which transformed my life is;

“Accept the unchangeable

Change the changeable

Remove yourself from the unacceptable.”

If there is something that I cannot change, it becomes my area of concern. It is better not to dwell on your area of concern, rather focus on your area of influence. A lot of our frustrations are because we are not able to accept so many things in life. We cannot influence the behavior of other people. It is better not to get affected by it. Nobody in the world cares for our feelings. So, it is better to remove ourselves from the unacceptable. Do not hand over the keys of your happiness to the world. Decide to be happy. You are the most important person in your life.

 “Maturity is, learning to walk away from people and situations that threaten your peace of mind, self-respect, values, morals and self-worth.”

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ENERGY PLUS INTELLIGENT EFFORT PLUS FAITH IN THE ENERGY

 

When I received the Role Model Infinitheist Award, one of them asked me casually, ”So what do you do when you have a setback in life?” I just told her that I immediately go down in gratitude for all the blessings in my life. And the very same day I fractured my heel! It looked like I had gone all the way only to receive the Award and now that I had fractured my heel, I had to return back to Chennai. Probably all this happened to me to give me the much-needed rest, which I would not take otherwise. I had enough time to prepare for the accreditation of the schools without anyone disturbing me. So, God has His own plans. We need to flow with the flow. The incident actually validated my Faith

                                         “Faith works; and effort wins.”

 I have gone through quite a few experiences that should have actually shaken my faith, but I chose to deepen my faith instead. And life has rewarded me for my unshakeable faith. My faith in my God is so intense that it actually empowers me. When your intentions are noble, God will be in your team. Anything that you do with a selfless intent is like doing God’s work. I am in a profession where I need to put the needs of students ahead of mine. I have been blessed with humongous results in many of my endeavors, and sometimes it is minimum effort and maximum results. I experientially realized that it is nothing of me and everything of Him.

   My call to every student is, to put in the required effort to score good marks. Every sports person should practice sincerely to win. Every individual should develop his competence to excel in his work. By just praying to God nothing happens. God works with you and not for you. Faith is not a substitute for incompetence. We don’t get good marks by just praying. We don’t win medals by just praying. We don’t get promotions by just praying. We need to take a lot of effort in the right direction. At the same time, we should be anchored to our Faith. Only then will we experience miraculous possibilities.

 Let us not arrogantly think that our achievements are due to our efforts. Without God we are nothing. Arjuna was a great warrior, yet he became despondent in the battle field. He was not ready to fight. But, it was his faith in Krishna that helped him to win the war of righteousness. It was the mighty Hanuman’s faith in Rama that enabled him to cross the ocean. It was Narendra’s faith in Sri Ramakrishna that made him Swami Vivekananda.  How do we connect to our God? By sitting in silence every day, by becoming energetic and enthusiastic, by developing a grateful heart, by intensifying our faith & by constantly cleansing ourselves from inside. Divine grace is our doorway to success.

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TO BE, TO DO, TO HAVE, TO GIVE

 

In the recent times, I had the privilege and honor of attending the felicitation of one of the war heroes of India, a Param Veer Chakra Awardee. It was Param Veer Vandanam. The highlight of the program was our hero sharing his experiences during the war. I could not hold back my tears. The pride in his eyes and the strength in his voice spoke volumes about his love for his motherland. Joining the army at the age of sixteen and participating in the war at the age of nineteen, needs extraordinary courage. Since his being was filled with immense love for his country, he had the courage to join the Indian army at a very young age, and his patriotism gave him the readiness to sacrifice his life for his country. This clearly explains, “To be to do to have to give.”

Anything that we wish to give, we need to have. To have, we need to do. For eg; If we want to be healthy, what we should do is, eat the right food and exercise regularly. To top the class, we need to have a scheduled study time. To be punctual every day, we need to get ready early. And, to do, we need to be. We need to get the being right. Do we have the discipline to do all of these consistently and not once in a way? If we get our being right, we will be able to do the right action so that we will have what we want to give.

 On becoming an educationist, I had to work on myself first. I had to transform my core being, by changing my thought process. The journey of transformation began thus.  I knew that I could give to the world only what I had. I was in a profession where I had to lead by example. I started filling myself with positive qualities by sitting in Silence every day. A school being a temple of transformation, it was much needed. There were a few areas to work on. I began embracing my higher tendencies. I was able to get my being right and thus began the joy of giving, which is an experience, that cannot be explained.

  Everything begins with a shift in the core being. This holds good for parents and teachers, who influence the younger generation. We first need to get our being right. A profound statement made by the great teacher, Dr. Abdul Kalam, in his eleven-point oath says, “I will constantly endeavor  to fill my mind with great thoughts and spread nobility in thinking and action among my students.” A very lofty thought indeed. The oath is all about a teacher getting the being right, which all of us read, before we start our work for the day.  If we want to create a world of holistic abundance, we need to be the change we wish to see. The life we live should be a message to our children.

 

                         “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world

                          “Today I am wise, so I am changing myself” - Rumi

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COME……LET'S GO THE OTHER WAY

 

When we read the title we immediately think that when the whole world is going in one direction, I will go in a different direction, just to prove a point. But it is not so. It only means that we need not take the beaten path. Just like how Robert Frost in his poem, The Road Not Taken,” says, two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less travelled by…And that has made all the difference. New enterprises and businesses have come up in the world because of new ideas and thought processes. Somebody thought differently and that is how e-commerce started.

 

There may some accepted norms. But can you introduce something new to this world? Mahendra Singh Dhoni introduced the helicopter shot in cricket and created a niche for himself. In the film world, when acting was what everyone focused upon, one man alone focused on style, and became a superstar. When the world is moving in one direction, you can create an absolutely new direction which the world was not aware of till then.

 

Create your own path. When every student in your class tries to be one in a crowd, you can try to be one above the crowd, when they think that being like others will only gain them friends, you dare to be original and move on, when they think it is right to do what everyone else is doing, you decide to follow your value system, when some of them think it is alright to cheat in the exam, you hold on to your integrity, when they think that smoking and drinking is cool, you decide to walk alone and be right, when they think it is fun to get into relationships of infatuation, you tell yourself that you will transcend such thoughts and feelings that will make you fall in life.

 

The world is becoming more and more casual about so many things. People who have a value system, who are disciplined, are all seen as outdated nerds. You need a lot of courage to do what you think is right and to avoid herd mentality. To be a path finder, you need to be a path breaker. In the beginning you may be alone, but keep persisting and you will find that a huge crowd is following your path. All you need is a strong belief in what you do. It is hard to find teenagers who are not part of a gang. If you manage to break away from the wrong trend, you will go on to become a trendsetter!

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting