WHO IS YOUR CHILD’S BEST FRIEND?

 

I rushed back home from my workplace every day to catch up with my son’s homework for the day. I always sat with him to go through the daily lessons taught in class. He was made to revise every day. The moment I reach home, my son will have so much to share about his favorite game, football, a game about which I knew nothing. Yet I would listen to him as if I was interested in the information he was giving me. I would give apt responses to whatever he said. He would continue talking even when I went into the bathroom to change! He would stand by the door and keep talking excitedly. And I would respond from inside. Whatever he was interested in talking, I would listen with an air of excitement. So, we became good friends. He would confide in me everything as I never held his honesty against him, nor did I point a finger at him on another day. This helped him to share everything with me.

 

Not that he was right all the time. I never missed to correct him or express my disapproval about some of his actions. When he became a teenager, it was quite tough as he did things the way he wanted. His grades were not as high as it could have been. I kept pushing him. That year’s PTM was in absolute contrast to all the previous years. It was a year of complaints. Not something I relished. He had scored CGPA 10 in the class 10 Board exam and was also declared the Best Scholar Cum Sports Person of the year! But he was indifferent towards studies in class eleven. But I didn’t give up on my son. I continued to love him the way I did.

 

There were ups and downs in his life, but I stood by him, prodding him, cajoling him, motivating him and also, at times, censuring him. I have had my moments of despair too. But I did not allow situations to snowball. The relationship between us has been by and large cordial, yet we have had our fair share of arguments as well. But the love and bonding was always intact. Looking back, I realize that, as teenagers, they will question us as they go through intellectual development during their early teenage. Whoever keeps talking to them or gives them that intellectual comfort, they get attached to them. It could even be their friends. But if children can find that person within the home, they will not have to go in search of anyone else in the world.

 

Choosing to be more with their friends could be the beginning of getting into the wrong direction in life. Friendship either creates them or destroys them in the process, depending on who their friends are. ”Sangam  saranam gachhami.” A man is known by the company he keeps. They have to carefully choose their friends. Else, their life will be in shambles. Most of them don’t get their life right because they didn’t get their teenage right. So, let’s not get ego involved with our children. Rather, let’s win their confidence and become their confidante. We need to invest quality time with our children. The family values have to be deeply embedded in them right from childhood. Loving them unconditionally makes us feel liberated. Ideally, a child should be able to happily state, “My parents are my best friends!”

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting

ARE YOU A MASTERPIECE?

As I was reaching the Eiffel tower, the excitement was growing, to see one of the wonders of the world. The magnificence of the engineering marvel was overwhelming. To have made something of this magnitude when technology was not so advanced speaks volumes about the craftsmanship and sheer brilliance of the engineer. A masterpiece emerges only when a mastermind is at work. Thus, emerged a portrait of Mona Lisa, the pyramids, the big temple, the Taj Mahal and the list is endless.  A lot of intelligent thinking, passion, time management, and brilliance go into the making of a masterpiece. The world desires to converge at these places to have a glimpse of these masterpieces.

 

This made me think of the innate talent and capability each of us is endowed with. Should we not strive to be one above the crowd? An exceptional individual whom the world looks up to. But that cannot be achieved without meticulously working on ourselves. To strike up a conversation with a man in his thirties, my son asked him if he was a football fan. The man immediately replied that he doesn’t believe in watching a game, but rather, playing a game himself, which will improve his physique. There was no point in basking in borrowed glory he believed, but rather in utilizing his time for doing something productive. A very valid point indeed.

 

You need to be exceptional for the world to take notice of you. Are you using yourself enough? Opportunities will come our way, we need to smartly seize those opportunities. That’s how the Ambanis, the Tatas, the Zakir Hussains, the Dhonis, and the likes, happened. They were passionately chasing their idea and never gave up at the face of adversity. The world celebrates them and desires to shake hands with them, take their autograph & photographs with them.  They have not only made their country proud, but are also a part of history now in their field.  It takes a lot of courage & consistency in effort, to achieve your goal. Use your time first to develop yourself so that you can reach a point where you can be useful to the world.

 

“The tragedy of life is not the ultimate death

But what dies within us when we are still alive.”-mahatria Ra

 

What am I willing to give up to go up? By saying give up, I don’t mean, to sacrifice. Identify what is that habit or quality in you that is stopping you from becoming extraordinary. Where is your time going and how to bring your lifetime goal to Q2, which is, Important but not urgent, in the time management matrix. We need to invest a lot of our time into that worthy goal. Even if you are not good at arts, sports, math, language, research, etc, constantly and consistently being at it can help you to make great improvements. One step at a time, or one day at a time, work on your strengths and you will experience the benefit of a compound effect one day. Nothing happened overnight. It has taken years for all to achieve their true glory.

 

That’s how we have world renowned players in sports, Oscar award winning actors, Nobel prize winners and innumerable achievers in various fields. None of them made to the top that easily. Begin with the thought, “What is special about me?” Dwell on it long enough and find your calling. Whatever you are good at, be the best in it and sure enough you will create a benchmark. It is definitely a heady feeling to be a champion. You are the only one who can help yourself to become a Masterpiece, your Master’s piece. Don’t miss it. Carpe Diem!!!

 

“All of us are born equals

Human glory lies in ensuring

That we do not die as equals.”-mahatria Ra

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting

IS THERE A HAPPINESS LEAK?

 

The little baby gurgled and made a screeching sound when her mother kept playing with her. She went on non-stop. After sometime her mother became tired and stopped the game. But the little one kept calling for attention by making sounds. The baby was in a perfect state of happiness. I was watching all of this and kept wondering why we lose this happiness as an adult. Children don’t need a reason to be happy. They can happily play by themselves for hours. Happiness should be in the small things of life. But as adults, we wait for big things to happen in life for us to even smile.

 “Happiness is in the small things of life

Success is in the big things of life.” – mahatria Ra

 On the contrary, we should have a big goal life. We shouldn’t be contented with small achievements. Of course, we need to celebrate every milestone in our life. But we should aim to make it very big in life. This is as far as our achievements are concerned. But when it comes to happiness, we shouldn’t wait for something big to happen. The toothless grin of your child, the little pup jumping on you when you return home, helping an elderly person to cross the road, cooking your child’s favourite meal, attending to your aged parents, and many such things should certainly bring a smile to your face. All the little joys in life should never be missed. It is not just the Oscars that bring joy to an actor, but every milestone that he crossed, that gave him immense happiness.

 We sulk for so many things. We easily lose our happiness. If someone has more than us, or somebody looks better than us, someone scores more marks than us, or someone gets paid more than us,  or someone lives in a beautiful house, or someone drives a luxury car, or you didn’t get what you desired, or you felt let down by your friend, or you don’t enjoy a good relationship, or you didn’t get the marks you expected or the life partner you wished, and the list can go on, in our otherwise peaceful life. Small things disturb us. Even if we are disturbed, which is human, we should not reman disturbed.

 How do we ensure that we don’t remain disturbed? By becoming aware that we are disturbed. Any negative emotion pulls us down. We forget to smile. We should not dwell in that feeling for long. We should immediately think of the good moments in our life, and smile. When we do this constantly or every time we are upset or disappointed or angry, we can eventually learn to manage our emotions. For each one, our happiness is derived from different things. Dressing up glamorously, receiving attention and appreciation, getting promotions, gossiping, hanging around with friends, or investing quality time with the family, watching a movie, helping others, selfless living, being grateful, etc. Find out what takes away your happiness. We live only once. Why should we live unhappily? Find out where your happiness leak is and fix it. Live a jolly good life. Nothing or nobody is worth losing your happiness. You are too precious. Your happiness should be a premium. It is priceless. Decide to be happy. There is no way to Happiness. Happiness is the way. Live life happily. Say cheese!!!

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting

ARE YOU STRESSED?

 

                                     

 When I was new to my profession I was actually grappling with the situation. I was not able to achieve a work life balance. My son was very young. I wanted to be with him, but I had executed the choice to take up the responsibility of running the school. Trying to manage home and work was very tough.  Whenever I got worked up, I used to tell my husband, “You don’t know how stressed I am.” I used to use the word, “stress” generously. The more and more I used it, the more and more stressed I became. I was caught in a vicious cycle. I will come to the story later as to how I could overcome this in life.

 

But today, this is a word very liberally used by youngsters. A class nine student came up to me, when I was walking around during the break, and told me how stressed she was. Studies is stress, waking up early is stress, not being allowed to use the mobile is stress, avoiding junk food is stress, being told to avoid wrong company is stress, being corrected for wrong behaviour is stress, and the list goes on.  For the adults, work is stress, relationships are stressful, a colleague getting a promotion is stressful, household work is stressful.  It may sound silly to us, but for them, it is real. Even working professionals indulge in vices because they are stressed. They justify their actions. Drinking, smoking, vaping, misuse of drugs, are all common amongst youngsters. They don’t realise that it is due to poor mental health. These will become addictions without their knowledge and coming out of this habit may sometimes be impossible.

 

“Most problems come from not wanting to see things as they are.”- mahatria Ra

 

If we can change our perspective, we can change the way we feel. Our actions are a manifestation of our thoughts and feelings. If we change our thoughts, we can change our actions. A student, instead of seeing studies as a burden, should visualise what he can eventually achieve in life, if he gives undivided attention to studies. He should see it as an opportunity to discover his potential, to achieve incredible growth, to improve the quality of his life, to grow materialistically, to make it big in life. If a teacher sees her work as a burden, then she will fill her space with her vibrations, which will be negative. Work is worship. A teacher has to see a school as not only a temple of learning, but also as a temple of transformation. She must love her students first, then she will automatically love what she is doing.  If a doctor, instead of getting stressed by repeatedly seeing sick patients and negativity around him every day, can go to the clinic or hospital thinking, “How many more patients can I cure today?” Then he will look forward to his day and achieve gratification in being a blessing in the lives of his patients. Every youth and adult, trying to escape the monotony of life, by taking refuge in alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, etc, is absolutely insane.

 

“You are all the time creating the script.

You draw what you think into your own life.

Life outside is a manifestation of how you think,

And that’s the truth.”- mahatria Ra

 

Our profession is our choice. We should happily work and not miserably work. If we are passionate about our work, we will enjoy it. My spiritual connection helped me to look at everything in the right perspective. We get stressed when our circle of concern expands and our circle of influence shrinks. What is, is. Certain things around us is not in our control. I can only influence my own thinking and my own actions, and thereby my own life. It is not the experiences that I go through in life, but the way I respond to these experiences that makes the difference. Choose your responses. I started working on my attitude and outlook. I was told that the goal of every goal is peace. That I should not hand over the keys of my happiness to the world, which will make me dance to their tunes. Today, I am the master of my life. The world does not hold my happiness to ransom. Since I love my students, I love the work I am doing. I learnt to strike a work life balance by expanding my circle of influence. I live a beautiful life. The word, “stress” has fled from my vocabulary. “Love you zindagi,” is now my most favourite song! Come, lets sing in chorus!!!

 

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting

EXPERIENCING PLEASURE THROUGH PAIN

 

Waking up at 4.30am is never a challenge for me, especially on the days I have yoga class. The mind never gives a second thought. Though I am regular in my exercise (five days a week), I still experienced pain in my left leg. I immediately decided to see the doctor. I was assessed and the therapist put me on a myofascial trigger release treatment because my muscles were very tight. I had not done stretches after my exercise, which led to all these issues. Warm up and cool down are a must.  Those who don’t know what is myofascial trigger release, I must say that it is the most excruciating pain I have ever experienced in life. You will not be willing to go there the second day. It is like being in a Nazi camp. It is actually a torture! But you go for these sessions because you know that this is the only way you will be relieved of your pain, permanently. So, temporarily you need to embrace pain for a pain free life.

 

This is true of all the temptations in life. As a student, we may be tempted to use up all our time in pleasurable ways. Time management is not clock management; time management is life leadership. Is it bringing about our growth? Then it is time invested. I understand that when there are many ways to keep oneself occupied through gadgets, social media, television, or with friends, it is very difficult to do what is more important. Rather, resisting such temptations is very painful. When you are engaged in an activity that you enjoy, your brain produces dopamine, a chemical that promotes feelings of pleasure, happiness and excitement. Gaming, social media, mobile phones, even gossiping, become addictive because it triggers the release of dopamine. So, you continue to chase this feeling consistently.

 

Thus, what is most important in life is at the mercy of what is least important in life. We get carried away by these pleasures and live life frivolously. The pain that we go through for not getting our life right, becomes permanent. If we realise that, we will willingly embrace the temporary pain of avoiding such pleasures that will not take us anywhere in life. Attach pleasure to what is right. Visualise a successful and happy life. If that is the goal in mind, we will start investing our time in productive ways. When we start seeing positive results, we will be motivated to go more and more in that direction. Between watching television serials and exercising, between tasty food and healthy food, between sleep and early rising, I chose the latter always, and that made all the difference to my health. A balanced diet and healthy lifestyle can go a long way in increasing your body’s natural production of dopamine. In fact, playing a game, learning an instrumental music, painting, singing, dancing, etc can increase the dopamine levels. Indulge in activities that produce positive results and experience joy in it. Ultimately that itself will become an obsession in your life. Start getting addicted to anything that promotes your growth and well-being. It may be painful initially, but sure enough, it will give you pleasure eternally. Give it a shot!

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting