BUILDING A CULTURE

 

“A nation’s culture resides in the hearts and soul of its people”- Mahatma Gandhi

 

Many years back, when I had been to Thailand on a holiday, wherever I went for shopping, everybody welcomed me with a namaste. I was so impressed, especially because the entire country had a similar practice. It was unique to that country. Culture, is a common meeting ground for people from diverse backgrounds. Culture is inherent to a family, an organization, to society and to a country at large. This is what binds us together. This is what unifies us. This creates greater understanding in a family, synergy in a work place, and showcases the strength of an organization and the uniqueness of a country.

 

Take a family, for example. Love, mutual respect, hospitality, kindness, compassion, integrity, etc, or the lack of it, is also part of a family culture. The elders in the family, generation after generation, hand over the family culture. They are the ones who are responsible for maintaining the right culture in the family. Growing up children follow the culture. So, we have to make sure that the basic culture of the family does not disintegrate. No two families are alike. Each one is unique. A healthy family culture aids in the bringing together of all the family members, from different generations and in building fond memories. Sometimes, the negativity and wrong attitude of family heads rubs off on the younger generation. At any time if it is found that the family culture, is not good, we can still intentionally create a family culture, to offset the negative influence. Family culture can be created through values, family habits, family rituals and traditions, creating a family legacy. Building a positive culture in a family is the responsibility of the parents in a nuclear family and it has a great bearing on the children they send into the world.

 

“The family is both, the fundamental unit of society as well as the basic root of culture,”

 

It is true of any organization as well. Especially in a school, it is vital to build a great culture. If all the teachers in a school can have a similar outlook, approach, value system, discipline, attitude, and follow the code of conduct prescribed by the school, it will have a great impact on the students. It calls for a lot of self-discipline and will power to be consistent in our actions. It is a mindset though. Nothing is difficult if we set our mind on it. To create a positive climate, to be a good listener,  to get students into the habit of being regular in their work, to insist on good handwriting and neat presentation, to motivate them to set a target for the year, to strive to achieve it, to instill in them the value of honesty, to help them schedule  fixed hours of studies every day, to provide a child friendly and caring environment, to build confidence in students, to earn their trust, to be unbiased, to approach all matters professionally, to be kind to the students, yet firm in matters where we cannot allow them to have a choice, to build a beautiful rapport with the students, to ensure the physical and emotional well-being of students, to identify their strengths and work on their weaknesses, in short, mentor them, lead them by example and thereby establish a purpose and build a great school culture, which  is imminent to the healthy growth of every child. The school environment is thus created by the teachers.

 

“As teachers, we have the opportunity to foster positive changes to the every day experience in our schools. Investing time in improving school culture is worth the effort.”

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting

UNPARENTING

 

The school had organized a Reach Out program for the parents of high school. Every day a message was sent in English and regional language, stressing the importance of coming on time for the meeting. On the day of the meeting, there were hardly any parents fifteen minutes before the meeting. But, by the time the meeting began, the hall was almost full. The meeting started on time, as is customary in the school. Those who came late, were accommodated in the corridor, adjacent to the auditorium.

                             “The child is the father of man.”

 Out of the many things I shared with them, the first thing I shared was, what we don’t get right in our childhood, is very difficult to learn as an adult. Some of the parents came late because they were not into the habit of being punctual. That is why the school is insisting so much on punctuality. Secondly, punctuality is not only about respecting somebody’s time, it also helps to develop a powerful mind. During their school days, when they make an effort to reach school on time, they are able to keep up their commitment as an adult too. This also helps them in other areas of their life. They become regular in completing their work, they meet deadlines with ease, they become reliable, they achieve mind over body, the world begins to trust them and, in the process, they too start believing in themselves. So, if they wish to take up a habit or drop a habit, it becomes effortless. We reach this state of effortlessness only through effort.

 

Children learn more from what they see than from what they hear. So, parents were taken through an exercise. They were asked to extend their hands and when they hear me tell 1,2,3 go, they should clap their hands. The instruction was repeated twice. They all extended their hands. Then I counted 1.2.3 and clapped my hands. All of them clapped on seeing me clap. Then I said,” go.” I asked them why they clapped before I could say, “go.” I had given clear instructions that they should clap only after I said, ‘’go.” They all laughed. I told them that children don’t want our advice. “An ounce of practice is worth tons of preaching.” So, can we model our behavior to suit the growing up child? Can our life be a scripture to our children? They don’t have to read the Gita, Koran or the Bible. They will have living role models at home. 

 

A lot of subliminal learning happens in childhood. Their environment plays a vital role in their life. So, what kind of environment are we providing them? Is home a haven of happiness, peace and love? Is there an understanding between the parents? Is there respect in the way we treat people? Are we living a systematic life? A place for everything; everything in its place. Are we living a disciplined life? A time for everything; everything on time. How we are treating our own parents, our kith and kin, is being observed by our children. When I look back I realize that I picked up a lot of my characteristics and habits from the people around me. Fortunately, I picked up the right habits. What if it is otherwise? So, we have an awesome responsibility as parents to get ourselves right if we want our children to grow up the right way. After sharing many more such insights, the meeting concluded, leaving them to reflect on what they should unlearn and relearn as a parent.

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting

WHAT IS THE REAL THREAT?

 

“A spark overlooked becomes a forest fire

                                  Every major problem that you face today

                                  Were just small issues that you overlooked yesterday.”- mahatria Ra

 

On the reopening day of the school, children in Primary classes were coming in so happily, as if, they were just waiting for this day. Almost all of them came on time and proceeded to their class. Just a few of them came in a bit late, during the five minutes grace time that we give after the reporting time. A couple of them were brought to school very late. The school insists on punctuality and so they were not allowed. As expected, one of the parents, was arguing and another was begging to be allowed inside. The school had sent messages every day before the reopening day, insisting on punctuality. Yet, they said that, being the first day, they assumed that students would be let in.

 

What they don’t learn in childhood, they will never learn in life. It is easy for the school to overlook all this and just focus on academics, but, we understand that if late coming is overlooked in their growing up years, they will struggle as an adult, to reach a place on time. They will struggle in their work place to complete their work on time. In everything, they will be late.  We find so many adults in this situation. They will become unreliable. First the world will lose faith in them, and slowly they will stop believing in themselves. It has a deep subconscious programming. What we need is a powerful mind. So, the school insists on punctuality to achieve mind over body. Only then can we become the master of our life. Time and distance is an attitude.” Attitudes don’t care where they are shaped. Once shaped, they become our behavior, either creating us or destroying us in the process.” By insisting on punctuality, we are developing in them, a powerful mind.

 

There are times when students are caught coming to school in a powered two-wheeler. They are warned. The school objects to a student riding a powered two-wheeler without a license. Students should be trained to be law abiding citizens. Just because many are using a powered two-wheeler without license, a wrong will not become right. If parents refrain from buying a powered two-wheeler for the children, however adamant they are, it will do a lot of good to the children. On the contrary, they are told to park the vehicle two streets away from the school so that they don’t get caught. Children should not be taught to ask, “Will I be caught or not?” They should actually ask themselves, “Am I right or not?” But a wrong programming happens. The mind becomes manipulative. Developing a manipulative mind in their growing up years will land them in trouble affect their life.

 

By criticizing your child’s school on the social media, you sow the seed of hatred in your child.  By talking ill about the teacher in front of the child, you are indirectly teaching the child to disrespect the teacher and to be judgmental. Children should learn to respect their teachers and take pride in the school. No matter how the child relates to the teacher or the school, neither will be affected, but it will have its own consequences in the child’s life. So, can we teach them to respect all?  These are a few of our responsibilities as parents. Can our life be the scripture for our children? To show the right direction to the child. Our children look up to us for guidance. All these may seem trivial to some, but when you evolve as a person, you understand the right way to live life. Anything that is wrong, should be avoided and anything that is right, must be embraced, early in life.

 

If you have not practiced yoga as a child, you will find it very difficult to lift your own body as an adult. Try a dhanurasana, or a  bhujangasana or adho mukha, or a janu sirasasana, and you will realize that the body you neglected in childhood is unable to become flexible as an adult. Your own body becomes a challenge to you, unlike a child, who can do all of these with ease. Similarly, what is not taught in childhood is difficult to learn as an adult. The threat then will not be from outside. The threat will be from within, if we don’t get children into the right habits. Hey parents, are you listening?

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting

HOW SAFE IS YOUR CHILD?

 

It was a regular day in school and all the children were in class. Some of them had a physical literacy class, one of the classes was in the free-play room, while some had gone to play in the play area. All of a sudden, during mid-morning, the parents of a child, who had not come to school that day, came with an anxious look on their face. Apparently, they were looking anxious and wanted to meet the Vice-Principal. The mother was literally in tears. The Vice-Principal took them to her room and asked them to sit down. When she enquired with the parents about their visit, the mother was still not in a position to talk. She looked very upset. The father decided to open up.

 

He first thanked the school profusely for conducting a session on “good touch & bad touch.” He then said that his little daughter was sexually abused by a sixty-year old neighbor, who was their family friend.  But the girl was smart enough to push the man and run away. She then told her parents about it. But the child was going through mental trauma after this incident. They wanted time to send the girl to school. The Vice-Principal assured them the school would take care of the child and make her feel at ease. It took a while for the child to overcome the traumatic incident, and come back to school.

 

The school counsellor said that this incident will certainly leave a psychological scar in the child’s mind forever, even if she gives counselling. Then after a few months came one more complaint from a primary child’s mother, who was a single parent, about how her daughter was molested by an elderly man in the neighborhood.  Both the parents gave FIR in the police station and the concerned person was immediately arrested and remanded to police custody. But the child is affected for life. A child in high school told her classmate that she felt like committing suicide as she was being sexually abused by her coach in the sports academy. Though the mother knew about it, she did not want her daughter to reveal this to anyone. She must have thought it would be shameful if everyone came to know about it.

 

I understand what the parents must be going through, but these are times when we cannot trust anyone blindly. Age is not a matter at all. Perversion knows no age. There are perverted minds among the elderly too, whom we least suspect. Instead of complaining about today’s society and degeneration of values amongst people, we need to focus on our area of influence. We should avoid sending our children anywhere alone when they are young. Let them go along with you. Avoid sending them for a sleep over to a friend’s place or relative’s house, or for vacation, to their native place, unless you are very sure of their safety. It may be convenient for working mothers to depend on someone to take care of their child in their absence. But if something untoward happens, the child will be scarred for life. It is not just girls, even boys are also not spared. And it is not always the opposite sex, sometimes it is the same sex!

 

Children should be allowed to express their emotions. Keep talking to them. We should be our children’s best friend. They should be educated on “good touch and bad touch” when they are young. Some of them feel that their parents will scold them if they tell the truth. We should allay such fears, else they will not open up to us. Such incidents create a lot of anger in these children. It causes a lot of trauma too. Let us not be gullible and overlook the safety of our children. Protect them. They are too precious!

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting