UNPARENTING

 

The school had organized a Reach Out program for the parents of high school. Every day a message was sent in English and regional language, stressing the importance of coming on time for the meeting. On the day of the meeting, there were hardly any parents fifteen minutes before the meeting. But, by the time the meeting began, the hall was almost full. The meeting started on time, as is customary in the school. Those who came late, were accommodated in the corridor, adjacent to the auditorium.

                             “The child is the father of man.”

 Out of the many things I shared with them, the first thing I shared was, what we don’t get right in our childhood, is very difficult to learn as an adult. Some of the parents came late because they were not into the habit of being punctual. That is why the school is insisting so much on punctuality. Secondly, punctuality is not only about respecting somebody’s time, it also helps to develop a powerful mind. During their school days, when they make an effort to reach school on time, they are able to keep up their commitment as an adult too. This also helps them in other areas of their life. They become regular in completing their work, they meet deadlines with ease, they become reliable, they achieve mind over body, the world begins to trust them and, in the process, they too start believing in themselves. So, if they wish to take up a habit or drop a habit, it becomes effortless. We reach this state of effortlessness only through effort.

 

Children learn more from what they see than from what they hear. So, parents were taken through an exercise. They were asked to extend their hands and when they hear me tell 1,2,3 go, they should clap their hands. The instruction was repeated twice. They all extended their hands. Then I counted 1.2.3 and clapped my hands. All of them clapped on seeing me clap. Then I said,” go.” I asked them why they clapped before I could say, “go.” I had given clear instructions that they should clap only after I said, ‘’go.” They all laughed. I told them that children don’t want our advice. “An ounce of practice is worth tons of preaching.” So, can we model our behavior to suit the growing up child? Can our life be a scripture to our children? They don’t have to read the Gita, Koran or the Bible. They will have living role models at home. 

 

A lot of subliminal learning happens in childhood. Their environment plays a vital role in their life. So, what kind of environment are we providing them? Is home a haven of happiness, peace and love? Is there an understanding between the parents? Is there respect in the way we treat people? Are we living a systematic life? A place for everything; everything in its place. Are we living a disciplined life? A time for everything; everything on time. How we are treating our own parents, our kith and kin, is being observed by our children. When I look back I realize that I picked up a lot of my characteristics and habits from the people around me. Fortunately, I picked up the right habits. What if it is otherwise? So, we have an awesome responsibility as parents to get ourselves right if we want our children to grow up the right way. After sharing many more such insights, the meeting concluded, leaving them to reflect on what they should unlearn and relearn as a parent.

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting