THINK WIN-WIN

 

The expectant mother is always full of her child, whom she has not even seen. But the love she feels towards ‘it’ cannot be quantified. She is willing to give up anything that does not suit this unborn child. Such is her unconditional love. She will avoid the food that she likes the most, she will slow down, if she is asked not to do something that will affect the baby in the womb, so be it. Even if it is a lose-win situation, it brings sheer joy to the mother to do it for the little one. She is willing to go through pain to experience the pleasure of having the child.

 In a family, when both, the husband and wife are working, and if all the household chores and raising the children become the wife’s responsibility, it takes a toll on her. Physically and psychologically she is drained sometimes. It is a lose-win situation for her, and she does not cherish it. If the husband understands her predicament and comes forward to help her in sharing with her the household chores and the responsibility of the children, it will be a win-win situation.

 “Strong people don’t put others

  down…

  They lift them up”

 When children become teenagers, they go through hormonal changes. So, their behavior also tends to change. They are driven more by pleasure, and may not do what is right. This is a traumatic period for the parents as well. If we can build a relationship with them from childhood, we will not get ego involved with them. When ego comes in, everything else goes out. There is no love in the relationship. It is always, “I win, you lose.” As parents, we need to first understand that there is no question of winning against our own children. Every time our child loses, we also lose. By hurting our child’s feelings, by insulting them, by putting them down, by hurling abuses at them, by demotivating them, by comparing them with others, what are we trying to achieve?  It is a lose-lose situation and we also lose our children in the process. This is the child we waited for nine months to cuddle and smother with kisses. This is the child for whom we were ready to give up anything. This is the same child who was the apple of our eyes.

 The power of conversation and consistent parenting helps in building a strong relationship with our children. Involve children in simple day-to-day household responsibilities. Share with them the financial budget that you have made for the month. Need be, ask them to add their views, to reduce the expenses. Ask them ideas to save money. Probably they will feel like a responsible adult when we ask them for their opinion and involve them in matters of importance. This is one of the ways to make them feel important as well. Our relationship with them will improve. This will be a win-win situation.

Children need to be told that in life they should always think win-win in every situation and in every relationship. This will help them to develop empathy and seek mutual benefit. It is an attitude towards life, to find resolutions and to include negotiations in interactions. Everybody finds happiness in it.  If children experience this at home, then that would be the best way to develop the right mindset. Are we ready to win by helping others to win? Let us first begin at home, with our own children.

 “A win-win situation is not a compromise; it’s a collaboration where everyone wins”

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting