EVERLASTING FREEDOM

I love the poem, “Where the Mind is Without Fear” written by Rabindranath Tagore, in which he pleads to God to free his countrymen from the bonds of social evils, and expresses his vision for an independent India.

What does freedom mean to you? It means different things to different people. In pre-independent India, everybody looked forward to the freedom of the country from the British. That became the vision of an entire nation. One common goal. They had to go through physical, mental and psychological trauma to finally achieve freedom. There were many forerunners for this Cause, who laid down their lives for the freedom of the country. We call them as martyrs.

Today, our challenges are so different. We are imprisoned by our own thoughts, beliefs and actions. We are not fighting any enemy outside of us. It is within us. Our tendency to get angry for the smallest reason, our lack of tolerance and patience, is plaguing the society. Sometime back I saw two people having an argument over parking their two-wheeler. The argument became heated and they started hurling abuses at each other. Then it went to the extent of hitting each other with slippers! Mind you, this was between a man and a woman. Both educated. But no point, as civil behavior was not on display.

At the slightest provocation we are ready to throw away all the decency, grace and dignity that should actually rule our life.

Can we be polite to each other and treat everyone with courtesy? In such cases, where we are controlled by our anger, rather imprisoned by it, we should strive to free ourselves from this. Liberating ourselves from the shackles of this emotion is freedom to us.

Buddha said, “You will not be punished for your anger. You will be punished by your anger.”                     

Some of us love to sleep for long hours. All our life should not go away in sleep. We need to have a goal in life. So, we have to enthusiastically wake up every day to move closer to the goal. If we are unable to have a fixed time to wake up every morning, we will not achieve anything in life. Conquer your sleep. Don’t be imprisoned by this habit. Come out of the shackles of a lethargic life. Pump energy into your everyday activity. Break yourself free from the dilemma of asking everyday whether you should press the snooze button and extend your wake-up time.

We have a practice called “Weigh to go.” Every Monday, the staff has to weigh themselves and check their blood pressure. This is to create an awareness in them about staying healthy. An ideal BMI should be within 25. These are just indicators for us to take care of our health.

We want them to practice mindful eating. Eating mindlessly will lead to so many health issues. Today’s food is tomorrow’s health. So, we need to count our calories and not fall into the trap of eating tongue conscious food, rather, develop the habit of eating health conscious food. We should inculcate the discipline to choose the right food.

Then we can liberate our body from all the aches and pains and the freedom of good health can be enjoyed.

Why is it that when someone achieves a feat, instead of admiring them and getting inspired, some of us feel jealous of their achievements? Now that is a trap. We will reach nowhere by feeling jealous. At least we can garner some ideas from them and improve ourselves, if we cannot do it on our own. But we won’t.

Jealousy is a disease. We need to insulate ourselves from it. Else, we will be using our strength to defend our weaknesses, instead of overcoming it.

I always try to escape from the company of people who keep complaining. They keep whining about their problems. Being with them drains you of your energy. Sometimes I feel they enjoy talking about what is going wrong in their life. It is a habit for some of them. It creates a lot of negativity around.

The more we talk about problems, we will experience the recurrence of the same. It will become a vicious cycle. Life has to be an upward spiral.

Don’t get caught in your disturbances. It will suck you in. Free yourself from this habit of complaining. Set your mind free.

We are sometimes punished by our own wrong actions or inaction. Overcoming our weakness and making it our strength is what true liberation is all about. Why should we remain in a cage?  Let’s free ourselves from whatever is holding us down. We are meant to fly in the vast open sky, as a free bird. Come out of the fetters of negativity and attain everlasting freedom.

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting  

MAKE YOUR ACTIONS COUNT

 

“You’ll never change

Your life until you

Change something

You do daily

The secret of your

Success is found in

Your daily routine.”

Do you know that what is insisted upon when we are very young, becomes our habit?  My mother used to insist that we turn off the lights and fans when we leave the room. But, it took a while for us to remember to do it. She would scold us if we didn’t. So, in order to escape her scolding, we switched off the lights and fans without fail. Thus, it became a habit.

She also insisted that we finish up the food in our plate without wasting even a morsel. As an adult, we don’t need anyone to remind us, as it is deeply etched in us. It is not only at home, but anywhere we see any kind of wastage, we try to stop it.

What is the attitude we are developing in our children? Recently, I was told that the corporation has handed over the responsibility of collecting garbage from houses and institutions, to private parties, in the suburbs. Our institution will be charged an enormous amount every month I was told.

The admin staff was discussing about the huge sum that was being demanded for clearing all the waste dumped in classrooms by the students. But my mind was thinking about inculcating the right habit in children, and this was the right opportunity. Even adults never understood why we should not litter. The exorbitant charges alone hit them.

I told them, it is not about paying a huge amount to clear the garbage in the school, it is about instilling the right values in children, who are in the habit of tearing pages from the notebook and littering the classroom, or dumping the food packed by the mother into the class dustbin, because they don’t like that food.

Thus, we began the drive for cleanliness. Every afternoon, an announcement would go in the public address system, creating an awareness in students about the number of trees that are felled to make notebooks, that it should not be misused, the effort that goes in cultivating and cooking the food that comes to our plate and the respect that we need to show by not wasting the food. That everything should be valued.

A system has been created to ensure that paper and food are not found in the class dustbin or anywhere else in the school. For several years now, we have the practice of awarding an “Eco- friendly” class certificate to all the classes that keep their classroom clean throughout the month.

A bell goes one minute before the last bell for the day, for students to check if there is any litter in the class. It is called the “clean-up” bell. It is a reminder to students to keep their classroom clean. The students also learn not to waste anything and to value everything. Every Friday, students and teachers of one of the four houses clean the entire school campus. We have been doing this since 2014, when Swachh Bharat was announced.

These are very simple actions, but how many of us practice it? If we insist on it consistently, we can achieve humongous results. Our country can also be clean and litter free in public places. Awareness is the key. Anything that is practiced repeatedly will become a habit. Let us take baby steps in this journey of creating a clean and green India.

Let this become our contribution to our country; raising responsible citizens. Hey little ones, the country is counting on your actions!

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting 

TEENAGE, A TIGHTROPE WALK

 

“Adolescence is not about letting go

It is about hanging on during a very

Bumpy ride”

Have you ever wondered what it is to be an educationist? It is not how it is perceived from outside. It is the responsibility of thousands of lives!

Life in school is a joy ride most of the time. Seeing children everyday itself is heartwarming. Interacting with them is a pleasure. The mind is always filled with progressive thoughts of taking them all to the next level, giving them new experiences, exposing them to wider knowledge, training them for greater achievements, cultivating in them values, developing a powerful mind and everything that will help them to climb the ladder of success, while being rooted to their culture and ethos.

Every day passes away like a song that one can relive and cherish. But. sometimes, out of the blue, we are jerked by some incidents. Especially the issues of teenagers. This is an age that either makes you or breaks you. What is unfortunate is, some are unable to pause and think. They are unable to see what is coming. They just get carried away by their feelings, not waiting to even think. The rush of adrenalin and dopamine is overwhelming, and they fail to apply the brakes. Life is on uncontrolled acceleration, and they don’t see the speed breakers ahead. This period of their life becomes like go carting, driving in a mad rush, banging here and there.

The same children who were once close to their parents, start distancing themselves as they feel that parents are giving unnecessary and unsolicited advice. The hormones in their body overtakes their attachment and makes them behave in a way that is very unpleasant. Children wish to enjoy unrestricted freedom, not realizing that it is disciplined freedom that will give them all the joy.

This is the age when children become rebellious, they want to try the untried, they push the boundaries, they explore the secrets of life unknown to them till then, they experience the so-called thrills, throwing caution to the wind, like the bullet train, they are in a hurry to do too many things at one go, not realizing that they are treading on a dangerous path that can even destroy their life. They relate more with friends and move away from their parents. They feel that whatever they are doing is right and are not willing to see reason. 

                                        “Every day, in a hundred small

                                            Ways, our children ask

                                               Do you see me?

                                              Do you hear me?

                                                   Do I matter?”

If parents can invest quality time in building a beautiful relationship with their children in their growing up years, the bond between them can save the child, as it has, in many families. It is only when the parents are deeply immersed in their own issues and challenges and forget to forge a bond with children, that life jolts them from their complacency, when children are neck deep in trouble.

This is a wake-up call to all parents to be with children right through, so that, together we can have beautiful moments as a family to cherish, rather than be awakened one day to a horrifying truth of teenage children messing up their life. Take one step forward and hand-hold your child, never to forsake them, by  giving them the confidence that you will be their friend for life!

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting 

 

DON’T LOSE YOUR ORIGINALITY

“Never change your originality for the sake of others

Because no one can play your role better than you

So be yourself. You are the best.”

“Some of us know the story of a girl who said that she realized that even if she were the greatest plum in the world, somebody out there in the world would be allergic to it. So, in order to gain the relationship, she decided to become a banana, hoping that a banana lover would come. But with time she realized that he changed his taste and went away. Then she decided to become an orange. After a while the orange lover too left her and she decided to become a grape fruit. That was when she realized that, from being the greatest plum in the world she became a second-grade banana, then she became a third-grade orange, and then struggled as the fourth-grade grapes. That was when she realized, in order to gain the friendship of the world, she was losing herself in the process.

She realized that she should remain the world’s greatest plum. Many people may reject her, many people may not want her, but, one day a plum lover will come and accept her for who she was and, in that relationship, she can blossom .Remember, if you trade your originality in order to gain anything from the world outside, sooner or later, you will lose what you have gained from the world, in order to regain your originality.”

In our adolescent years we don’t have a mind of our own. We tend to do what our friends do. Mindlessly we follow them, not realizing that we are walking aimlessly in a blind alley and there may be a pit at the end, into which we can fall and bruise ourselves. There may be certain things that we may not approve of, or do, by ourselves. But, in order to please our friends, and to be included, we agree, knowing fully that it is against our value system or the culture of our family.  

Just pause for a moment when you are not sure of your decision.

Think…

This has saved thousands of people from destroying their own lives.

Develop a strong value system that will prevent you from falling a prey to a world that will keep tempting you. Have standpoints that you will stand by all your life. Else, you will fall in life.

Protect yourself, rather insulate yourself from those who can have a wrong influence on your life. Don’t keep yielding. You will no more know who you are. Get your adolescence right and thereby your life right. Don’t change your personality to please anyone. Maintain your originality. That is what makes you different and unique. You are the most important person in your life. Don't live by a social script. Write your own script. 

                                        

                                       “Your value does not

                                                  Decrease

                                          Based on someone’s

                                          Inability to see your

                                                    Worth” 

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting 

 

DELAYED GRATIFICATION

“When you delay instant gratification, you will experience long-term satisfaction.”

I am always fascinated by the stories I hear about the old-timers, many of them known to me, who made it very big in life, though they began with nothing in hand. There was no frustration in them even when they did not achieve what they desired. They tried and tried, but never gave up. From a production boy to a very successful film producer, known in the industry as the king-maker, lived as a larger than life personality. From a cook in the Indian army to becoming the President of the ICAI. From a young widow to a doyen in the field of education, establishing a group of schools. I have watched them all from close quarters, and their lives are a great inspiration to me.

What is special about all three of them is, their life had an uncertainty of future rewards. Yet, they were willing to try, and they kept trying relentlessly. Their life was punctuated with failures, but nothing could rattle them. I have wondered many a time, from where they derived the strength. They never seemed to be in a hurry.

Today, that kind of patience, self-control, will power, resistance for instant results, focus on short-term goals, are conspicuous by their absence. I am not even talking about the goals we set in life. Even in day to day life, there is so much frustration in not getting something immediately. Children get so upset when something is denied to them. Are we teaching them to wait?

“Things which matter the most must never be at the mercy of things that matter the least, just because it is convenient.” Mahatria Ra

Soon after children return from school, they wish to relax. Immediately their hand goes to pick up the TV remote or mobile. This is called instant gratification. The issue is, rest of the evening becomes a relaxation. Their mind does not go back to studies, because dopamine, the “pleasure hormone” is released when we are doing something that makes us feel good. Some of them chat with their friends for long hours, some others hang around street corners or at the coaching center, after class, and are in no hurry to return home to complete the day’s work.

Being systematic in keeping the books as per time-table for the next day, instead of feeling lazy to do it every day, or, practicing a place for everything and everything in its place, instead of leaving things here and there just because you are in a hurry to do something else, not sitting in front of the TV when you have an important assignment to complete, not being tempted to watch the World Cup during exams, waking up early so that you are punctual to school, instead of waking up late and foregoing one day’s class. It is all about delayed gratification. First things first. Prioritize.

That is why the school has a “Willpower Drive” every month, to help students prioritize what is right. When practiced long enough, it will become your habit. You just have to work on one habit at a time and learn self-control. Else, you will be impulsive. Give yourself an easy task of keeping away from your mobile for one day, when you come back from school. If you succeed, make it two days. Likewise, many other time stealers. Thus, you will be able to make decisions and live by it. That is the mind over body state.

Everybody wants to be rich, fit and happy. Then you should set specific goals that demand delayed gratification. Saving money and investing it wisely, and not indulging in compulsive spending habit, working hard to grow in your profession, exercising every day and not choosing to sit in front of the television, not eating the dessert after a heavy meal, but deciding to have it the next day, should be some of your actions, if you want to see results.

Instant gratification is a short-term reward. Substance abuse, immoral behavior, copying in the exam, taking another person’s belonging, can be attributed to the need for instant gratification. The flip side of it is, it will lead to lack of commitment, and also a disregard for the feelings and needs of people who matter to us.

Instinctively or impulsively we indulge. Instant gratification indicates lack of self-control and self-discipline.  Delayed gratification is a learnt trait or skill. Train the mind to stop, look and then proceed. Success in life is all about developing the right habits. Then you will be on the right track. This will propel you to excel in life.

“Subordinate your likes and dislikes to the Purpose of your life”- mahatria Ra

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting