DELAYED GRATIFICATION

“When you delay instant gratification, you will experience long-term satisfaction.”

I am always fascinated by the stories I hear about the old-timers, many of them known to me, who made it very big in life, though they began with nothing in hand. There was no frustration in them even when they did not achieve what they desired. They tried and tried, but never gave up. From a production boy to a very successful film producer, known in the industry as the king-maker, lived as a larger than life personality. From a cook in the Indian army to becoming the President of the ICAI. From a young widow to a doyen in the field of education, establishing a group of schools. I have watched them all from close quarters, and their lives are a great inspiration to me.

What is special about all three of them is, their life had an uncertainty of future rewards. Yet, they were willing to try, and they kept trying relentlessly. Their life was punctuated with failures, but nothing could rattle them. I have wondered many a time, from where they derived the strength. They never seemed to be in a hurry.

Today, that kind of patience, self-control, will power, resistance for instant results, focus on short-term goals, are conspicuous by their absence. I am not even talking about the goals we set in life. Even in day to day life, there is so much frustration in not getting something immediately. Children get so upset when something is denied to them. Are we teaching them to wait?

“Things which matter the most must never be at the mercy of things that matter the least, just because it is convenient.” Mahatria Ra

Soon after children return from school, they wish to relax. Immediately their hand goes to pick up the TV remote or mobile. This is called instant gratification. The issue is, rest of the evening becomes a relaxation. Their mind does not go back to studies, because dopamine, the “pleasure hormone” is released when we are doing something that makes us feel good. Some of them chat with their friends for long hours, some others hang around street corners or at the coaching center, after class, and are in no hurry to return home to complete the day’s work.

Being systematic in keeping the books as per time-table for the next day, instead of feeling lazy to do it every day, or, practicing a place for everything and everything in its place, instead of leaving things here and there just because you are in a hurry to do something else, not sitting in front of the TV when you have an important assignment to complete, not being tempted to watch the World Cup during exams, waking up early so that you are punctual to school, instead of waking up late and foregoing one day’s class. It is all about delayed gratification. First things first. Prioritize.

That is why the school has a “Willpower Drive” every month, to help students prioritize what is right. When practiced long enough, it will become your habit. You just have to work on one habit at a time and learn self-control. Else, you will be impulsive. Give yourself an easy task of keeping away from your mobile for one day, when you come back from school. If you succeed, make it two days. Likewise, many other time stealers. Thus, you will be able to make decisions and live by it. That is the mind over body state.

Everybody wants to be rich, fit and happy. Then you should set specific goals that demand delayed gratification. Saving money and investing it wisely, and not indulging in compulsive spending habit, working hard to grow in your profession, exercising every day and not choosing to sit in front of the television, not eating the dessert after a heavy meal, but deciding to have it the next day, should be some of your actions, if you want to see results.

Instant gratification is a short-term reward. Substance abuse, immoral behavior, copying in the exam, taking another person’s belonging, can be attributed to the need for instant gratification. The flip side of it is, it will lead to lack of commitment, and also a disregard for the feelings and needs of people who matter to us.

Instinctively or impulsively we indulge. Instant gratification indicates lack of self-control and self-discipline.  Delayed gratification is a learnt trait or skill. Train the mind to stop, look and then proceed. Success in life is all about developing the right habits. Then you will be on the right track. This will propel you to excel in life.

“Subordinate your likes and dislikes to the Purpose of your life”- mahatria Ra

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting