THE COMPLEXITY OF RELATIONSHIPS

As a student, I often wondered how to solve a mathematical problem and what was its relevance to life. It was never explained. So, I never enjoyed a math class. I usually zoned out after a while, when I could no more catch up with the teacher’s explanation. I thought, either she was very fast, or she did not explain how she arrived at the next step, or she was happy to carry on when the students in the front row nodded their head.  Math, to me was a complex subject.

As an adult, I realized that relationships are more complex than math!

We juggle between roles, each calling for a different approach and temperament. What works with one, may not work with the other. Even amongst our own children.

Managing relationships is like driving on a chaotic road. We should be an expert in maneuvering, to ensure we don’t get hit, or we don’t hit anyone.

I was pathetic in managing relationships. I used to sulk and moan when someone was nasty to me. I even got very angry with those who accused me. I was not able to tolerate nonsensical behavior. I used to react!

“Others hurt you because of their immaturity. You feel hurt because of your immaturity.”  -mahatria

But a great teacher of life came to my rescue. Unlike the math teacher, He taught me how to manage relationships, with utmost clarity. That did the trick.

Sometimes most simple things are misunderstood, people read between lines, some feel that they are being taken for granted, some others feel they are being used, some feel inferior for no reason, some feel holier than thou, some are difficult to please, some cannot be made  happy, some are constantly dissatisfied, some are short-tempered, while some others are cranky, some are egoistic, some are naïve, some are unpredictable, some throw tantrums, and only a few are balanced.

Relationships are like fire. Maintain a distance and it will give you warmth.

Others’ shortcomings are their problem. You cannot please everyone all the time. Your attitude is all that matters to you. I stopped reacting, and giving undue attention to those who don’t deserve it. People’s opinion about me does not matter to me anymore. Hence, I feel liberated.

“Expect more from yourself than what others expect of you” – mahatria

Honesty in a relationship only builds trust. Are you trustworthy and reliable? Then you can build relationships and thereby a strong bond.  Set personal boundaries to maintain emotional balance. Go into any relationship looking at what you can give and not what you can receive.

                                Do all the good you can

                               For all the people you can

                               In all the ways you can

                              At all the times you can

                               Without any expectation 

I give all relationships their due status.  There is no disrespect whatsoever. Being polite has become my nature. Detached attachment works. Stop being  dependent on someone for your happiness.

There is no pain anymore. I didn’t know life could be so peaceful with the new approach. Ever since, I have come a long way. I am in a beautiful space where I decide my happiness.

Live life on your terms. Make relationships less complicated and more enjoyable. Align yourself with people whose values are similar. It creates harmony and reduces friction. There is so much fun in watching the drama than being part of it.

             “Life is celebration and celebration is life.”

- mahatria

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting