LOVE IS NOT LOVE THAT PAMPERS

 

The giraffe in the zoo litters a calf. The mother giraffe kicks the newborn soon after birth, sending her flying up in the air and tumbling down on the ground. This is repeated till the tired baby giraffe learns to stand on her feet. The mother giraffe does this because she knows that the lions and leopards love giraffe meat. So, unless the baby giraffe quickly learns to stand and run with the pack, it will have no chance of survival. But human beings take their own time to evolve. From the baby stage to adult life, it is a period of evolution.

Overparenting:

As parents, we love our children unconditionally. We want to give them a beautiful life. We don’t want them to be deprived of anything that we were deprived of in our childhood. Hence, we indulge as parents, by giving them whatever they want. This is how many of us have learnt to show our love. Children also see this as parental love. Indulgent parents do not set boundaries.

We should not teach children to measure love through gifts or by pampering them. A wrong can never be right. We should not overlook the mistakes children commit because of our overt love for them. Accepting everything they do, agreeing to their demands, buying them everything that they ask, are not the ways to show our love.  There has to be loving firmness in our actions. They must learn to adjust and adapt with the world outside, where they may not be able to have their ways.

 I remember, as a child, my mother gave us a lot of freedom. But she was clear that we have to use it responsibly. So. Childhood days were fun-filled. We knew our limits and we did not go beyond that.

 “Attitudes don’t care where they are shaped, but once shaped, they become our behavior, either creating us or destroying us.”

 Do we need children’s approval for everything?

Children may not like to be told, “no.”  However, we must do only that which will propel their growth. Love is love, that creates. Rewards and punishments must not be attached to their behavior or their performance in test/exams. Insisting on delayed gratification will go a long way in getting their life right. Love and attachment should be experienced by children from the warmth of the parents and not from anything else. We should never argue with the world to justify our children’s mistakes. This will only mislead them in life.

What can you do as a parent?

If you really love your child, empower them.

1.    Involve your child in household chores.

2.     Teach them to say sorry and thank you.

3.     Inculcate values and discipline in them.

4.     Let them learn to respect elders.

5.     Instill in them a value for money.

6.     Appreciate them when required

 Parenting is a learnt trait. You don’t get it right always. But you must keep trying, and that’s the spirit of a hands-on parent!

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting