THE SALT IS AT FAULT

 

As a family, we are in the habit of appreciating good food. We always appreciate the cook whenever the food is tasty. The smile on her face is worth watching. These are small happy moments in their otherwise mundane and challenging life. We also tell them if the food is not good on some days, which she doesn’t like to hear, obviously. But such instances are very few. Most of the days she cooks well. I noticed that my cook is on the defensive if she has not done something that we have told her, or sometimes, when there is excess salt or chilly in the dish. She immediately blames the quality of the salt or the chilly. Once she broke a new coffee mug and did not report to us. When we found that she had broken it, we questioned her. She immediately said that since she hadn’t broken it intentionally, and because it was dropped by mistake, she didn’t inform us. She was told that when she damages something that belongs to somebody else, she has the responsibility to inform.

 

“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.”

 

I have noticed this habit in some adults and children too. You ask a child why an assignment was not done, or why the bedroom is messy, or why are the exam marks so low, why is the notes incomplete, what is the reason for reporting late to school, they will never say they are at fault. The reasons they will come up with will be astonishing, and sometimes annoying too. They don’t realize that they shouldn’t give excuses against their own growth. Your mind is capable of speaking for and against your own actions. Are you the master of your mind or a slave? We need to vaccinate ourselves against “excusitis.” Else it will pull us down. Let’s face it. If we are not right, we are not right. But if we try to justify our wrong actions, it will become a habit and pull us down. We need the courage to face the bitter truth. Blame game will never solve any issue. We need to take ownership of our own actions.

 

As parents, even if we know that our child is not hardworking, or is into vices, or tells a lot of lies, or lacks values and discipline, or not motivated enough, and all of it, sometimes we cannot accept it. Though we get upset about it, we wish to cover it up and tell the world that everything is fine. This self-denial will neither ease our pain nor correct the child. We don’t want the world to know about it. Sometimes we tend to blame their friends, our neighbors or the school for everything. But what is important is, to first correct the child. Even if others know about our child’s inadequacies, it is alright. If the child needs counselling, we should not hesitate to approach a Counsellor. We have the responsibility to create a future for the child. We have to wean them out of all the vices that they are indulging in and scoop them out of the lethargic life that they are living. Blame game or excuses will never help us in life. It will simply keep us wherever we are and the problems will persist.  Life will become a vicious cycle. It should rather be an upward spiral.

 

           “My life is my responsibility. No blaming is allowed.”   Mahatria Ra

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting