EXCELLENCE IN EVERYTHING

 

A man once visited a temple under construction where he found a sculptor making an idol of God…Suddenly, he noticed a similar idol lying nearby. Surprised, he asked the sculptor, “Do you need two statues of the same idol?” “No” said the sculptor without looking up. “We need only one, but the first one got damaged at the last stage.”

The gentleman examined the idol and found no apparent damage. “Where is the damage?” he asked. “There is a scratch on the nose of the idol” said the sculptor, still busy with his work….”

Where are you going to install the idol?”

The sculptor replied that it would be installed on a pillar twenty feet high…

“If the idol is that far who is going to know that there is a scratch on the nose?” the gentleman asked.

The sculptor stopped his work, looked up at the gentleman, smiled and said,” I know it and God knows it.”

This is true about the work we do. If we, as teachers, could do the work entrusted to us, without requiring anybody to monitor us, rather trusting us in the faith that we will deliver what is expected of us, with a deep sense of commitment, we would be a great blessing to the society and the nation at large. This is how a conscientious teacher will be. Such a teacher will keep aspiring and striving for excellence. We cannot teach the way we were taught. An inspiring teacher will continuously develop her capabilities.

As parents, if we could get our perspectives right, be a little more patient, a lot more conscious of our responsibilities towards our children, develop a strong bonding with them, nurture them with love and affection, invest quality time with them, be understanding and considerate, adapt according to the times, mould them into responsible citizens and selfless individuals, with a strong value system, sound character and high discipline, if we could set the right moral tone and be worthy of emulation, home would be paradise and children will find parents to be their best friends. This is called conscious parenting.

As students, you have a large role to play, as the youth of the country. You need to aim high. No ordinary goals.

You can unleash your potential only through uncomfortable transitions and not by aiming for something that is within your reach. If Rohan Bopanna can script history with a triumph in the Australian Open at the age of forty-three, what are you waiting for? You will know how resourceful you are only if you start using your intelligence. Don’t settle for anything less. It begins from your school days, when you are asked to polish your shoes, tuck in your shirt, comb your hair, wear neatly ironed uniform, dot your ‘i’, cross your ‘t’ and be punctual to school. That is what excellence is all about. A diamond has to go through so many processes before the world can see its brilliance. It has no value in its core form. But once it becomes a diamond, it becomes priceless. Your value is determined by you and not by the world. So, work on achieving excellence.

Parents and teachers are the catalysts of society. If we pay attention to minute details, we could turn around the lives of our children and thereby bring about excellence in their upbringing. It is the small things in life that makes a huge difference. Every piece in the jig saw puzzle is important for the larger picture to emerge. Be relentless in your pursuit of excellence.

“Excellence is not a skill, it’s an attitude.”

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting

EVERYTHING IN MODERATION

 

It is a season of dieting in our family. But I am excluded. Everyone else is seen measuring their food in grams at the dining table, and have some quantity of protein, carbs, vitamins, etc. A pic of the plate is taken to send it to the dietician. As I always eat in small portions, focusing more on proteins and reducing my carbs, I don’t have to change my diet. I eat what is healthy and avoid food that is tasty, but not healthy. Rather I don’t give in to the temptation as I know that momentary pleasures will give me everlasting pain. If food is taken in healthy moderation, we can enjoy good health. It is only when we live to eat that we have to fight weight issues, which will later become health issues.

Even in relationships, it is better not to go overboard. If you can be warm, cordial and polite always, that is better than being over-friendly sometimes and then fighting with the other person, not talking to them, speaking ill of them, and turning the relationship sour. We should always enjoy a good relationship with people. How will this be possible? By maintaining a respectful distance. Even if it is our children, there will be times when it will help the relationship if we refrain from talking excessively. I call it restraint. When we cross boundaries, misunderstandings can happen. Human relationships can become volatile, if it isn’t handled with tact. Fire gives you warmth, when you stand a little away. But, it burns you if you go too close. This is true of relationships too. So, a loving relationship, with a polite distance, will always last.

“Moderation in temper is always a virtue: but moderation in principle is always a vice.”

Today screen addiction is common amongst the young and the old alike. We don’t know when to stop. If we can go on a technology detox for a week, we will believe that we are the master of our life. Else we will become victims of technology. Have a fixed time to use your phone. Stick to that. Let it be a limited time. Because you can do so many productive things in life. “That on which you invest time grows. That which is starved of your time shrinks.” Mobile phones have become an addiction for many people. They use it while driving or riding a powered two -wheeler, while eating, while exercising, and till they go to sleep. I have seen little kids being given a mobile phone while their mothers are shopping, as they will not disturb them. Least do they realize the damage it does to a growing child’s brain.

Some people hit the gym with a vengeance, hoping to lose weight overnight. There is a way to begin your exercise regimen. We will only injure ourselves if we overdo. We need to have the patience to achieve our goal. Step by step we need to move forward. What should be done in a month should not be attempted in a day or two. The body has its own limits. Don’t push it too hard. Begin in a gentle way. You should push your body only when it is ready. Just as how the fetus has a period of gestation and is safe only when it comes out at the right time, so also, our muscles will get injured if we attempt a higher weight. Nevertheless, muscles grow only when challenged. You need to take time.

Everything in life should be in moderation, only then will you be able to appreciate and sustain what you have. Moderation is the key.

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting

CONNECTING THE DOTS

“You cannot connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards” Steve Jobs

During my growing up years I was quite independent, as my mother was a single parent. She was running a school, so she could not be with us everywhere. So, we used to travel all by ourselves, locally and even out of station. We used to do our own shopping, consulted the doctor when we were sick and even went for our own admissions, applied for my passport and visa! It was all alright as it was our way of life. It didn’t matter to us so long as things happened our way. I felt my dad’s absence when I had to make the arrangements for my wedding. Though I was the one who made the arrangements when my sisters got married, for my own, I felt that it would have been nice if somebody was there to shoulder the responsibilities and made me feel like a bride-to-be. But life made me independent and a decision maker.

This came very handy for me when I became an educationist and started running the school. Every moment I need to take decisions, and some of them would be vital. I cannot depend on anyone. It became easy for me as life itself was a training ground. That was when I realized that life took me through certain experiences to prepare me for what was to come. When I was young, I had no clue, what was in store for me and what kind of work I would do. There were days I bitterly cried for all the testing times. Least did I know that God was only preparing me for what was to come. So, today, a setback is seen differently. I only ask God, “What are you preparing me for?” and not, “Why me God for all the troubles?”

Life may not give us what we want, but definitely what we need. That is the design of life. Every experience takes us one notch higher in maturity.  Sometimes we would have prepared very well, or worked very hard, and would wait in anticipation. There will be times that we desire something in life. To our dismay, we will find that we cannot get what we desire or succeed in spite of our hard work. We may certainly get upset, as our expectations would have been very high. As mahatria would say, “God upsets our plans so that He can implement His plan, and His plans are always better for us.” Sometimes we cannot explain why something did not work in our favour, even though we tried hard. There is a reason. We don’t know the bigger picture. So, in all humility, let’s wait. So many times, I have seen that I have been denied what I wanted. But later on, I have realized that, it was all for my good. So, today, when things don’t go my way, I don’t get upset. Rather, I am in total surrender, and whisper to myself, “Thy will be done.” This is because, looking back, I am able to connect the dots. 

 #Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting

SUBSTANCE ABUSE

 

It was our Kiddies Sports Meet and the chief guest was addressing the parents of kindergarten students. Two things that she mentioned, stayed with me for the rest of the day. She said that touch is such an important part in the life of a person. We need to touch our children and hug them enough in their growing up years. True, hugging a child can contribute to their emotional and physical well-being. They will be happy kids who will know to regulate their emotions and grow up with confidence and resilience. She also said that parents should love their children always. I could not agree more on this with her because, I am such a parent, who has only given hugs and love to my son, not only in his growing up years, but also now.

Does the present generation enjoy such a relationship with their parents? If they do, then I am very happy for them. As an educationist, I have had incidents where the school had to tell parents about their child’s friends, relationships and also about their habits. Some of them are not connected with their parents. They are more attached to their friends. They will do anything to be in their circle of friends. They crave for a sense of belongingness. Today’s generation thinks that anything that is commonly done by many, is correct.

Picking up a cigarette, consuming alcohol or doing weed, or riding a powered two-wheeler or driving a car without license, everything is okay, as many of them are doing it, and they call it “Cool”. Just because many are doing it, a wrong will not become right. Peer influence is very strong for those whose self-confidence or self-image is not good. Those who have good self-worth will not resort to such things.

Students, whether in school or college, get easily influenced by their friends. They like to chill together. They are unable to think clearly. They are more driven by pleasure than right action. If only they pause to think about the consequences, they will not indulge in anything that will either make them an addict, or let anything affect their body, their internal organs, their health, their thinking, in short, it is suicidal, as it may cut short their life and even seal their future. Even if they want to come out of it, they may not be able to. That is the danger of substance abuse or alcoholism. It will all start as fun, or giving company, but slowly it will become an addiction. It will then lead to mood swings, depression, violence, anxiety, etc. This will ultimately sever all relationships and the family will go through trauma.

It would be ideal if we can build a healthy and loving relationship with our children. Parents should be their “go to” persons in their life. This will happen only if we, as parents, do not hold their honesty against them. The attachment and love that began when they were young, should continue even in their teenage. Let’s not get ego involved with them, or judge them or label them. We may have to go through testing times during their adolescence, as they too will be going through transition in their life during puberty.  If they have a close relationship with their parents, they will not even require so many unwanted friends in their life. Just a few quality friends will suffice. I can vouch for this as I too am a MOTHER!

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting

EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE

 

“If you want to fly, give up everything that weighs you down” 

When the little child falls down and cries, out of immense love for the child, and to pacify her little one, the mother hits the floor and pretends to be angry with the floor for tripping her child. This makes the child happy and he wipes his tears. Unfortunately, this has an adverse effect on the child. He learns to blame people for all his problems and miseries in life. He does not take ownership of his life or his mistakes. When they become adults, they always point a finger at the world. Not that it fixes any of their problems, but they feel good to tell that they are suffering because of somebody else’s mistake. They don’t realize that blame game does not give you solutions. It only adds to your misery.

I have had many experiences and close encounters in my life with people who throw their frustration on others. Some people are fond of emotional drama. They misbehave everywhere, even in public places, shamelessly. I have learnt over the years, not to react and waste my energy. In fact, I have learnt to empathize with people who have no control over their emotions. I look at them differently. This approach has helped me to be at peace. These things don’t disturb me. I have learnt to look away. Whoever misbehaves, it is their problem.

Life is not smooth for anyone. Each of us has our own trials and tribulations. We must try our best to leave our past behind us, and not carry it with us.

What purpose is it going to serve, other than creating emotional and mental trauma for us. We cannot undo our past, so it is better that we don’t relive those unsavory moments. The effort has to be to get rid of the baggage, and not carry the baggage. Need be, go for counselling sessions, so that the heart feels lighter. If we keep vomiting and throwing our emotions on our loved ones, there will come a breaking point, when they can no more take it, and that will be the end of that relationship.

We cannot abuse people in the name of emotional trauma. How long will the world tolerate our emotional drama? There will be a point of saturation. Don’t become a victim of your emotions. Be the master of it. Choose your emotions. People who carry an emotional baggage take people for granted. How long can people love you in spite of you? Use your past as a reference, live in the present and look forward to the future. Be grateful for every blessing in your life. Then you will never regret about your life. Widen your circle of influence and shrink your circle of concern.  Don’t get engulfed in anxiety and live a disturbed life. Learn to forgive and forget bitter experiences. We should not be punishing ourselves for somebody else’s mistake. Erase bad memories and fill your mind with thoughts that you can cherish.

Love, gratitude, happiness, compassion, devotion, etc are all positive emotions. Fill your daily activities with these emotions so that you leave no room for the negative ones.

“Emotional baggage is heavy, and it’s way too expensive to keep dragging along to all the places that life wants to take you”

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting