PROCESS EXCELLENCE

 

“The proof of the process is in the results

What we need isn’t explanations,

but excellence;

not reasons but Results.”

There was a loud applause when our students confidently concluded their speech.  The audience was awe-struck by their eloquence, and most importantly, the way they spoke without a stutter for twenty minutes each, on “The Fragile Adolescent Years.”   

There were many take-aways for the audience other than what was spoken about. The speakers would have set aside some time every day to practice the speech, they also would have had to complete their daily school assignments, prepared for their test and exams, in the midst of all this they would have rehearsed it so many times. The Principal of that school gave nothing short of a salute to the two motivational speakers.

When there is excellence in the process, we can expect appreciation and applause. Lack of preparation would have shown in their delivery. And they would have ended up with a mediocre performance.

This is true of every aspect of life and in every role that we play. Whether we are parenting our children or teaching in a school or heading a corporate or industry, excellence in results can be achieved only through excellence in process.

Parenting is a learnt trait. There has to be consistent effort in grooming the children. Very often I see them being neglected. Sometimes parents don’t even realize how they should talk or behave, not only in front of their children, but even otherwise. For the sake of our children, we should get our actions right. We have the responsibility to mould them the right way. It doesn’t happen automatically. It takes years of right action.

A lot of effort goes into the making of an extraordinary personality. There was always a father, a mother or a grandparent in the life of those who are revered today for their noble qualities, in spite of their achievements.  Be it an Abdul Kalam or a Ratan Tata, the story is the same. Somebody within the family inspired and guided them.

A good human-being, who is also a successful individual, is the result of good parenting. It is not by default. For that matter, nothing is.

I have seen the by-product of good parenting as well, and I always think that they are blessed to have such a good upbringing. Many of these children are “Owner’s pride and neighbours’ envy.”  They will have a trouble-free life to a great extent, with the right attitude, values  and outlook in life, which will help them to make the right choices.

 Anyone dealing with children, be it parents or teachers, should get their algorithm right. We need to debug our methodology or strategy. What worked for one child may not work for another. But what is important is, are they getting our attention.

There is so much that needs to be done to get their thinking right. All the challenges we face in relationships is because of wrong upbringing or negative peer influence. One person’s attitude affects the happiness of many around, who are connected.

An ill-tempered person, a bully, a gossip- monger, a cheat, a sadist, a lazy bone, a liar, a drug addict, an alcoholic, an arrogant, manipulative, disrespectful person, are all sometimes the outcome of sheer negligence in childhood.

 Just as how a huge jig-saw puzzle can be solved only by placing every single piece in the right place, every action that we take, contributes to the holistic growth of the child. The contrary is also true.

 As parents, we should never lose sight of our end objective. The means to an end is as important as the end itself. Inculcate desirable qualities in children, so that they are a blessing to this world. This is every parent’s responsibility. See  parenting as a celebration. Aspire to make your creation a marvel!

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting

MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL…

 

“A beautiful face will age

And a perfect body will change,

But a beautiful soul

Will always be a beautiful soul”

Imprisoned in a mindset that only beautiful people appeal to everyone, and being an ugly duckling is a curse, I grew up, not enjoying being amidst family friends and  relatives, for the obvious reason, that my sisters and cousins, who were good looking, would always receive attention from all. I also did not take any effort to dress up well, knowing that it would make no difference.

As I grew in maturity, I realized the importance of dressing up well and being presentable, no matter how my nose was or how my eyes were. It was my responsibility to take care of my dressing. Once in college, I began to give importance to all of these and was definitely presentable.

My confidence level, which was very low, because of how I felt about my looks, started to go up, when I paid attention to the way I dressed. Slowly I realized that I should not define myself by my looks, which was a fading phenomenon. That beauty is only skin deep, and I should not be affected so much by that. Rather I should start working on my inner beauty.

“Outer beauty attracts,

But inner beauty captivates”

When you get one aspect of your life right, it aids in building your confidence in other aspects as well. Till that point, I never liked myself. Without loving yourself first, you cannot love the world. This shift in perspective taught me self-love. In turn, it taught me to love the world. Somebody who was shy and reticent to interact with strangers, started brimming with confidence. I started believing in myself. Life introduced me to me. A person, I never knew before, existed within me, came to life.

The little girl with a low self-esteem became a confident woman. Today, who I am bears no semblance to my past. Many of them will not even believe if I narrated my story. I have come a long way.

With a spiritual intervention in my life, everything fell in place. It helped me to integrate the larger good with individual good. I am constantly striving to feel more beautiful by working on my inner beauty. I am at peace with myself. I am experiencing happiness and harmony in life. Even as a reflex action, I don’t react. This is a state you grow into, when you become the subject of your study.

Reflection and introspection help you to improve upon yourself. Meditation and consistent practice of positive thoughts, feelings and actions, over a period of time, helps you to change your very DNA. You don’t suffer from any complexes. The judgement of the world doesn’t affect you, for, you know who you are. You don’t wait to receive a certificate or an acknowledgement from the world. You experience joy in giving, without expecting anything in return.

The greatest gift you can give yourself is to reach a stage where, your own limitations affect you, your inadequacies bother you, your insincerity or lack of commitment jolts you, and you are never at peace when you are not right. That state is a striving in life. Aspire to reach a state where you live to look up to yourself. 

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting

GIVING IS AN ATTITUDE

“The best way to find yourself

is to lose yourself

in the service of others”

We were brought up by my mother single-handedly. We lived a moderate life. The passing away of my dad robbed my mother of her affluent life and she had to fend for herself. My mother did not have much in terms of assets or wealth as everything that she had, had to be used for developing the school.

But I vividly remember, my mother gifting a pair of gold studs for the marriage of the school housekeeper’s daughter, when she had three daughters herself. 

That was the kind of person she was. She was very generous at heart. She did not wait to have enough, but was willing to part with her valuables for someone was in need. This gesture of hers was a great message for us in life. Life compensated her abundantly.

                                           “Giving is an attitude”

Giving does not necessarily mean only money. Giving your time, lending an ear, giving love, a smile, a touch, providing education, caring for the down-trodden, volunteering, planting saplings, blood donation, organ donation, feeding the poor or homeless, are all different ways in which we can turn around a life.

These are qualities that we need to inculcate in our children. Sharing and caring for the less fortunate is our way of contributing to the society.

I am glad that many parents understand the need to instill these values in children. It will give a meaning and purpose to their lives when they grow up. The society needs people with a compassionate heart. Selflessness is a quality that will lead to a caring society. You are given in the faith that you will give. The paradox of life is, you will be given only when you give.

 “To him that hath shall be given, but from the one who hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath.”

A lot of focus has to go into these small acts of kindness in our daily life, which will be observed by children. They observe and absorb from us.

Can we begin imbibing these values when they are very young? Connecting with them, playing with them, giving them our time and creating a positive environment at home, will enable children to grow up into individuals who are compassionate, empathetic and sensitive to others’ needs. Sharing and caring is what makes the society a beautiful place to live.

 “We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.”-Winston Churchill

Giving, as a culture, is becoming conspicuous by its absence. There is a danger of moving towards a selfish society. We do not lose anything by giving. There are so many deprivations in the world. In what way can we bring joy into the lives of people? Our selfless gesture will brighten up their lives.

Children learn more from what they see. Can our actions lead them in the right direction?

Visualize a world in which people help one another. The vagaries of life are such that we never know who will need whose help in the future. Give, in whatever ways you can. The joy of giving is inexplicable. Don’t miss out on this beautiful experience.

The festival of lights is around the corner. Whose life are you going to brighten up? This is your moment to be a blessing in somebody’s life. Give……with a large heart.

 “Happiness doesn’t result from what we get, but from what we give.”

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting
 

MY LIFE IS MY RESPONSIBILITY

 

As a prelude to the inauguration of the new school, it was decided to ask some of the alumni students to speak about their schooling for the social media. Those who came to my mind were those students who did their school proud in many ways, apart from being highly successful in their profession, each of them in their mid-thirty’s and forty’s, have been very responsible individuals.  

We cannot repay our parents, our teachers or our school for whatever they have done for us in our growing up years. All that we can do is, live by the values they have inculcated in us and make them feel proud by making it big in life. 

        How do we make it big in life?

By setting a goal, by giving a direction to our thinking, by making the right choices, by ensuring that our actions are in congruence to our goal.

Sounds simple, but it is a tall order. We have nothing to prove to the world. We just need to be true to ourselves, and that is work in progress.

Are you willing to grow? Nobody can help us to grow, unless there is a deep desire in us to grow. The world around is only a stimulus. But is there an inner craving to be the best?

We invariably give excuses for non-performance or lack of achievement. Nobody can be blamed, nor the circumstances, for our mistakes. Triggers can come from any quarter, but to get angry or not is a choice I execute. Somebody can tempt me to indulge in vices, but it is up to me to decide whether I should succumb to the temptation. My friend can help me to copy in the exam, but whether I will resort to copying is my decision.

Sleeping for some more time may be pleasurable, but will I choose to go late to school? Living a disciplined life every day may be boring, but does it make a difference? What I do when nobody is watching me is my integrity. Am I adhering to the culture and ethos of my school? Or am I guilty of violating the school rules?

So long as you understand that, “My life is my responsibility and no blaming is allowed,” you will not do anything that jeopardizes your own life. Blaming will not fix the problem. A failure will be a failure, a wrong habit will be a wrong habit, a loss will be a loss.

Don’t hand over the responsibility of your life to anybody else. It is not worth it.

You can paint your life with the most beautiful colours, you can chisel and sculpt yourself and create a marvel, you can script your own life and create history, you can pen your own story, you can hoist your own glory, you can be the master of your life!

All that you need to do is, take responsibility of your life!!!

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting

 

SUSTAINED PROGRESS

 

“Small beginning,

Incremental improvement,

And sustained progress

Will lead to legendary possibilities” – mahatria Ra

How many of us can proudly say,” I never gave up?”  Life is not always favourable to us. When things are going right, suddenly something comes up when we least expect it and jerks us.

The story of NSN reiterates the above quote. A humble beginning, a life of immense challenge for the Founder, not sure what the future held, yet she took one step at a time, with unshakeable faith in the Almighty, totally dedicated to her work, a meagre existence, with life not compensating her for her hard work and efforts.

But she had no complaints. She just carried on, focusing on what she could do for the cause of education.

Slowly, everything began to change in her favour. Today, from two students, NSN has progressed to almost 5800 students, and has grown organically. It is a 56-year old institution, which has sustained for more than five decades, and is ready for a new beginning in Kundrathur.      

In life, there is a point at which quantitative change brings about qualitative change. The secret is to do it long enough- incremental improvement.

NSN stands as a testimony to the grit and determination, patience and perseverance, relentless and selfless attitude and the never-give-up spirit of the Founder.

How many of us can boast of such a patience? The history of the school itself is a great lesson in life for the students.

 

People tend to give up in life very soon. They are not willing to wait. Children go for sports or music or dance, and when they don’t see much progress, they want to give up.

Ordinary people went on to become legends only because they never gave up over the years.

We try to open a bottle and when it seems hard, we give up. We try to work out a problem in Math, and when we find it difficult to solve it, we give up. We run a race and when we don’t win a medal, we get frustrated, and we give up. We try to memorize definitions or formulae, or a poem, and if at first, we don’t succeed, we give up. We try hard for a job and when we don’t find one, we give up.

Failure in any aspect of life affects some of them. They are not able to accept it. Some tend to go into depression, not realizing that failure is only an event and does not define them.

How do we achieve the mental strength to handle the vagaries of life?

# Practice self-awareness and acceptance

# Focus on what you can control

# Develop resilience

# Set realistic goals and celebrate achievements

# Learn from failures

# Reframe negative thoughts

# Cultivate positive relationships

Life’s bounties are always beyond the imaginary finishing line. The point at which you wished to give up, is the point at which, success was awaiting you. So, hold on. Don’t miss out on those legendary possibilities that is there at the end of the tunnel. Cross it, and grab the joy of success. Then you will have your own success story to tell the world!

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting