BE YOUR CHILD’S BEST FRIEND

The beauty about being an educationist is that, you get to see a two-year old, as well as a seventeen-year old. This seventeen-year old was once a two-year old, and you have seen them grow in front of your eyes. Other than their parents, only a teacher sees a child growing into a young adult.

A lot of changes happen in these growing up years and we need to keep pace with them - their ideas change, friends change, they outgrow their likes and dislikes, their habits change, their dress sense changes, so does their mindset and temperament.

Due to hormonal changes during teenage, they undergo bodily changes, which leads to emotional changes. Some are able to handle these changes, whilst many of them aren’t able to cope. That’s when there is a shift in attitude and they begin to throw tantrums, lose focus, tend to get influenced by friends, get distracted easily, tend to become a little discreet, do not open up to parents, start seeing them as their worst enemy, and sometimes become uncontrollable.

But this is the same child with whom you played hide and seek, solved jigsaw puzzles, narrated stories while feeding food, gave a joy ride as an elephant, on your back, splashed water at each other and rocked the child to sleep in your arms. 

When the child started schooling, who cried more was a question and a joke in the family. The separation was difficult for both. The teachers had to plead with you to go away so that the child would stop crying. Reluctantly you left the school, only to rush back and run towards the class at the stroke of the bell, to swoop down on your child, pick up and smother your child with kisses. You enjoyed every moment with the new toy in your life.   

You followed up every action of the teacher very closely and took much interest in your child. You wanted your child to be part of so many activities outside of school as well. So, you ferried your child to different classes and took great pride in your child’s achievements. The child’s name found a place in all the competitions conducted in school. Winning a prize was your goal and you prepared your child for it. The child winning a cup was seen by you as a reward for your hard work and you beamed with pride. 

Every weekend the menu for the week was planned. The snack and food were packed with so much love, that sometimes your child was unable to eat all of it and you were asked by the teacher to send a little less. 

But why was all of this short-lived? Why did you start getting ego involved with your child? Why did the long conversations and the quality time that you invested in your child begin to reduce? Why did your conversations turn into monosyllables? Why at the very sight of your child you began to lose your temper? Why did parenting become so stressful? 

Are you not interested in the toy anymore? Can we just abandon them? Can we label them or judge them? They may lack maturity, but what happened to our maturity? We were ready to give up all our pleasures and go through any amount of pain to make life comfortable for our children. Is this the same person who is now ego involved with them? 

Hey, don’t get sucked into that vicious cycle. Let better sense prevail. Our patience will pay off one day, if we understand the futility of a strained relationship. Adolescence is a difficult phase in a child’s life. They are also trying to figure out their emotions. Let us silently support them. There will be so much for them to learn from the way we relate to them.

A day will come when they will leave behind their adolescent phase and emerge into a beautiful adult. Let us maintain a cordial relationship with them until then. Else there is a danger of their friends influencing them. Our children will certainly make our life a celebration. Until then, keep celebrating your child. The childless will vouch how blessed you are to have a child in your life. 

#Thoughtfulthursdays #nsn #nsnschool #mentoring #parenting